3 Ways to Face Your Fear: My Decision to go Indie
photo: Andy VonDielingen
I always thought I needed a manager. Ya know, major label recording artist = manager needed. Someone to help you with the endless to do list that comes with being a creative entrepreneur who’s also not in control of many facets of her career. Someone to be the go between between the label, the agent, the promoter, ect. Someone with the connections to really make a difference in a highly saturated industry. It’s not an original thought. I need a manager. Right?
Hmmmm… not so sure. So while I found myself in a situation working with a management company that was not serving me and my needs, (they are a wonderful company and wonderful people, we just weren’t the right fit for each other) I stayed in a work situation way too long based on fear.
Staying in a situation for too long based on fear. Sound familiar? It sure does to me. I’ve basically lived my entire adult life right there. Work relationships, especially romantic relationships and even a marriage. It’s not something that I talk about much but let’s just say that me and the concept of fearing change are pretty close friends. CORRECTION. We WERE pretty close friends.
What I’ve learned recently is that fear freezes me in my tracks. It makes me doubt my instincts, it turns off my creativity, and it causes a lot of unnecessary anxiety. It has NEVER served me.
But you know what has? Stepping out in faith. Letting go a little (ok a lot) and giving God some room to do His thing. Ya know… the whole miracle bit! I’ve noticed miracles are few and far between when you have little ole me over here squeezing to death the control over pretty much all the situations.
So here’s my Top 3 Ways I Face My Fear.
Faith over fear. We’ve all heard that so many times but it’s not clear how to put that into practice! Well I can only tell you how I’ve tried and been pretty successful lately at it. Especially for a class A control freak like me. Here's how I did it. And told my managers “Love you, but bye.”
Meditation: Maybe you’re saying “eehhhhh just not my thing” or “I don’t have time” but I would challenge you to really give it a shot. A few weeks ago I committed myself to 7 days of meditation and I’m already seeing the fruits of this labor. If you don’t know where to start, I recommend the Calm app. It leads you through short guided sessions that are a great place to start. How does this help you with facing fear and choosing faith? Well for me, it seems to be making extra space in my mind. I already feel less distracted and I’m able to make decisions quicker and with more clarity. And I definitely see a drop in anxiety which is a huge plus. I highly recommend giving meditation a try.
Journaling: You guys have heard me talk about journaling before so you probably know that the kind of journaling I do is more of a written affirmation/manifestation practice. And some of these affirmations that I’m writing down I’m also saying in my head all day long. This helps me SO much with facing fear because by constantly affirming the things I am trying to create in my life (based on struggles I’m currently facing) I’m impressing upon my subconscious that reality. So by writing down something like “I have the perfect music manager that is mine by my Divine Right, under grace”, I am creating that situation. The great thing about affirmations is that even if the logical part of your brain doesn’t quite believe, the subconscious eventually does. So just keep it up. I recently experienced this in an awesome way. I was meeting with an amazing music manager in town that I respect greatly. The logical pessimistic side of my brain said “He’s way too successful to work with you, he only works with the BEST artists, you don’t have a chance.” But because I had been journaling and working with my affirmations I walked into this meeting knowing that if he was meant to be my manager, then I already had him. And if he wasn’t, then I would eventually have his equivalent. So not walking into the situation with fear gave me the freedom to totally be myself without any anxiety of feeling not good enough or not worthy enough in that situation. And the meeting ended up going amazing!
- Waiting for the moment of courage to strike. Do you guys know that movie where they say that all you need in life is 20 seconds of insane courage? I totally believe in that because recently I’ve started to experience it. When there’s something tough in my life that I’ve been putting off because I don’t feel quite brave enough or quite up to the task, I try to sit quietly with it for a bit. Not force a decision or a knee jerk reaction. But just to give it a minute. Sometimes it’s actually a few weeks. But if I’m patient, the moment will strike and all of a sudden, seemingly out of nowhere I’ll feel an intense burst of bravery, almost like a caffeine high. It’s the wildest thing. And when that moment hits I seize it. That’s the moment I listen to my instincts, I say thank you to God and the Universe for preparing me for this moment and I make my move. I write the email and hit send before I can change my mind (after careful editing of course). I make that phone call I’ve been putting off. I schedule that meeting. I hit publish on that blog post that feels too vulnerable. If I sit in faith long enough, God will give me the signal that it’s go time. And I’ve never regretted acting when that moment came.
I really believe that meditation and journaling are the things that are letting me hear through all the clutter and recognizing these small moments of extreme courage. And I believe that's when real change happens. When you back off, give up a little control and make room for some miracles.
That moment came a few months back when I was sitting in my kitchen talking to my Mom and all of a sudden I knew it was time to part ways with my management. I had been putting it off for months but in that moment I was given all the courage I needed.
So what’s happened since I let go of my managers? I’ve booked a summer’s worth of amazing tour dates, (including a couple opening up for Queen Reba!) landed a few AMAZING brand sponsorships, written some of my favorite songs AND started a new creative project that I’m obsessed with (more on that soon). And let me tell you before I let them go, my music career was feeling pretty stalled. But it's amazing what you can accomplish on your own when you face your fear.
So I really encourage you guys. Ask for the courage and then sit quietly in the peace of knowing you will get the courage you need. Then, walk right up to that lion, the thing that you’re scared up. Most likely it will disappear in front of your eyes. Either way, faith over fear. Every single time.
What are some things you guys have been struggling with? Are there any lions you need to face? I promise, you got this.
All my 💖,